Courtesy of Andrew Ginsburg, in a letter to the New York Daily News “Voice of the People“:
Let freedom ring at 35,000 feet
Southport, Conn.: On behalf of our unvaccinated flight crew here at Liberty Airlines, we’d like to welcome you all aboard!
Here at Liberty, your personal freedoms will not be compromised by public health concerns, and we are proud to be the only airline that gives Americans the choice of wearing a mask. You may also choose whether or not to cover your mouth when you cough — or wash your hands after you poop.If you enjoy a cigarette at 35,000 feet, one of our flight attendants will be happy to assist you with a complimentary Liberty lighter. If a loaded assault rifle on your lap brings you comfort, our new economy-plus seats will provide you and your “little friend” with a spacious in-flight experience.
We place no limit on carry-on luggage because, unlike our competitors, once the overhead bins are full, we line the center aisle with all remaining bags. Your electronic devices may be used at all times, but headphones are not recommended, as we encourage all passengers to express themselves with a complete disregard for those around them. There are no seatbelt signs, so feel free to roam the cabin and even interact with our pilots, who will be happy to let you fly the plane for up to 10 minutes.
Remember, here at Liberty, your freedom comes first, and we trust that your decisions will be the right ones. Thank you, and we hope you enjoy the flight.
I don’t care what your politics are… this is hilarious. And if you’re going to die on this hill and fight and argue about it, have at it!
